Nom nom nom, lookin’ for Mom

Doc sings the “nom nom” song when it’s time for Jamie to eat. “Nom nom nom, lookin’ for Mom!” Super cute.

Where's my mom?

Where's my mom?

It is sometimes tiring being the only one who’s able to provide our son with nourishment, but we both feel it’s very important to breastfeed for as long as possible before introducing a bottle. Just to make sure it’s well established… and it’s definitely getting there. It won’t be long before I start pumping and storing breastmilk so that Doc can do a feeding now and again, and then during the days when I go back to work next spring.

The past several days have all kind of started to run together in my head. I can no longer remember how many times I got up in the night to feed Jamie, what times those were, how long it took him to get back to sleep, etc. What time did I wake up in the morning? Did I nap during the day? What did I do all day? No idea sometimes.

We’re beginning to develop patterns. Doc is often awake before me in the mornings, and makes me breakfast when I get up. Tea, bacon or sausage, fruit, and a bagel. I nurse Jamie (nom nom!), hope he goes to sleep, then eat. 

I’m still not quite sure what to do with him when he’s not nursing or sleeping. When he’s crying, it’s time to troubleshoot and figure out what he might need (hungry? diaper change? burp? cold?). When he’s awake and not crying, I guess this is the time when I’m supposed to play with him. But he doesn’t really play yet. He’s not at an age yet where he can be very interactive. So sometimes we just look at each other for a while. I’m sure I’ll start to feel more comfortable with him as he gets older. I already am, in fact.

Last night Doc brought Jamie to me at 1:30 for a feeding, and after he was done, Mom took him for most of the rest of the night. I was able to get a decent amount of sleep inbetween feedings. And this morning, he (and I) slept from about 5 a.m. to 8:30. Three and a half hours in a row! I don’t think he was asleep that entire time, but I was. Mom’s still up now. I’m sure she’s exhausted but we can’t get her to go back to bed.

Doc’s getting maybe 4 hours of sleep every night, which is apparently all he needs. This is really truly actually about the amount he requires; it’s just the way he’s built. But still, I can’t help feeling like the lazy ass in this family. I know, rationally, that we’re both working equally hard now, with breastfeeding (me) and diapering (mostly Doc) and soothing (both of us, I guess, but more Doc from my perspective), but I feel guilty being away from Jamie when he’s awake and I’m off sleeping. Like I should be sharing in the hard work of soothing his crying, instead of abandoning my responsibility to my husband and son.

I guess I still have some inner drive to be Supermom. I know that I can’t though, and it’s not fair to me or Jamie or Doc to try. So the guilt is there, but I go upstairs and take a nap anyway. I know I’ll eventually achieve some sort of balance; it will just take time and practice to get there.

When we took Jamie to the ear nose and throat doctor a week and a half ago (wow, has it really only been that long?), we had to fill out a bunch of paperwork. At the bottom of the page was a line for “signature of parent.” I thought, why does my mom have to sign this form?… Ohhhhhhh…. Wait, that means ME. I am a parent now. It was an interesting feeling.

Thursday we went to the mall for a little while to do some quick Christmas shopping. It was a nice day outside and Doc and Jamieson stayed in a little outdoor courtyard area while I did a bit of shopping. We experienced our first “blowout” dirty diaper. All over me, all over Doc, all over Jamie’s legs and then of course he got his hands in it before I could stop him… all over his outfit, and all over the baby carrier. And in a public place, too. What fun! I think we were a bit overambitious and stayed out too long. Jamie’s normally very calm in the car but he cried the whole way home. I think he just got too tired. So did Doc and I, for that matter.

We watched a video last night about “The 5 S’s”… swaddling, side/stomach position, shushing, swinging, and sucking. This method of soothing actually does seem to have some merit; Jamie does calm down most of the time when we use the 5 S’s. We’ll see if it pans out in the long run.

1 Comments

  1. Britt

    Despite the first “blowout” dirty diaper, I’m glad you guys were clean enough to stick around for lunch with us at the mall. It was nice to see you all out and about for the first time.

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