Three words: Heirloom Dishwashing Liquid. This fine specimen of liquified soap, with which one might cleanse the scum and villainy off of one's dishes – indeed, both fine china AND...
We got tickets to see Laurie Anderson! She’ll be in Dallas in October, performing a new piece called “Homeland,” which deals with issues of war and loss of freedom in a post-9/11 America. I’m so excited!! This will be the fifth (I think) time that I’ve seen her perform; I got to meet her after one of her shows and she signed my program. I was too nervous to even say anything to her! I discovered her music in 1987, when I was but a sophomore in high school. This was, of course, the era of 80s pop and hair metal bands, so being a Laurie Anderson fan was just another mark against me in the high school social strata, but I didn’t care.
I’m 16 weeks into this pregnancy and feeling LOADS better. I can eat almost like a normal person these days, although the amounts are still small. I still have a strong aversion to turkey and chicken, and other white meats. I can eat things like beef and sausage in small amounts, but my diet is largely vegetarian now, which I am completely happy with. I am so happy to like food again. I don’t think I’m really craving anything. I wonder if I will. I am eating a lot of fruit, especially berries, peaches, and apples. Fruit was one of the only things that was kind to my tummy during my weeks and weeks of nausea. I ate so much applesauce then, though, that I’m not sure I ever want to eat it again!
But, must not eat too much fruit. Must watch sugar intake. I don’t think I’m in danger of developing gestational diabetes, but one cannot be too careful.
I have a sonogram scheduled for this week. As far as I know, everything’s going well. I don’t think it’s obvious I’m pregnant yet, but it might appear that I’m getting a tad chubby in the belly. “Katy must really be hitting the snack machine at work a lot!” Not really. My work peeps have been made aware of my “delicate condition” now (I love saying that phrase, it’s hilarious), and one very sweet co-worker from down the hall regularly brings me stacks of baby books and magazines that she read during her pregnancy. VERY helpful!
I can still wear almost all of my regular clothes. Last week I bought a Bella Band, a thick and stretchy tube of fabric that you can wear over unbuttoned pants to keep them up, and covers the midriff if your shirt rides too high; it makes it look like you’re wearing layers. Since I’m nearly six feet tall, it is hard to find shirts that are long enough to meet the waistband of my pants anyway, so this Bella Band might prove useful even when I’m not pregnant.
I have no idea when I’ll need to start shopping for new clothes. Hopefully a lot of my regular clothes are cut in such a way that I can wear them through most of my pregnancy. We’ll see how that goes.
I had a couple of minor emotional breakdowns this weekend. It’s been awhile and the tears needed to flow, I guess. I cried a lot for “Bertram,” which is what we jokingly named our little miscarriage back in January. It still makes me sad sometimes. The rational part of me knows that it wasn’t really a baby yet; it was just a lump of cells that didn’t get very far. But sometimes I can’t help but cry for the lost potential. Doc hates seeing me sad. I think he might be better at putting all of that into perspective than I am. When my emotions get the better of me, I can’t even think straight, let alone put anything into perspective.
I’m feeling pretty useless a lot lately. I know I’m doing the difficult work of cooking a baby here, but it doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like I’m actually DOING anything. My body’s just on autopilot, doing it for me. I don’t have to think about the steps, or worry about whether I’m doing it correctly. So it doesn’t really feel like work, if that makes sense, and it’s hard for me to cut myself a break because it feels like laziness when I do slack off. I think I’m pretty good now at listening to my body, and following its cues, so I’m certainly never doing anything that would put myself or the baby in any sort of danger; but letting other people do things for me that I know damn well I can still do myself, feels like laziness and like I’m taking unfair advantage of the situation.
I’ll get over it, I know. There’s a lot of big changes I’m trying to adjust to, and I don’t always adjust perfectly right away. Like letting Doc carry the 40-pound box of kitty litter up the stairs: I know it was a good idea to let him do it, even though I feel like I can still easily carry it myself, but I was all emotional at the time and got mad. Because I’m feeling so useless. Getting mad was a dumb reaction, I know this now. He’s excellent at providing for and protecting me, and his instincts have really kicked in lately. I have resolved to let him do things for me more, even when I know damn well I can still do them myself. There is no sense in both of us feeling useless.
Now that my queasiness has backed off, I’m taking advantage of times when I feel good and have energy, to get little lists of minor things done. Like today I accomplished an impressive array of household chores. I wasn’t even really tired today, which is unusual. I’ve been going to bed early (usually before 11, which is early for me) and getting about 8 hours of sleep most nights. I do get up to pee at least once every night, and often I have insomnia after coming back to bed and it takes me an hour or two to get back to sleep. Annoying, but probably helping to prepare me for the interrupted sleep of a new parent.
And I cooked dinner tonight! A full-on dinner, for the first time in probably three months. I made oven-baked chicken breasts, coated in bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, and spices; green beans sauteed with garlic and yellow tomatoes, garlic bread, and a chocolate zucchini cake. Must get in vegetables any way I can! I couldn’t eat the chicken, of course, although I did take a few small bites in order to enjoy the crispy coating. Doc liked the chicken to the point where he said he’d eat the leftover piece that I didn’t eat tomorrow for lunch! That’s saying a lot, seeing as how there are very few leftovers he’ll eat.
I saw the world’s ugliest pickup truck today. I couldn’t help but notice it as its stereo was rattling my windows at a stoplight. It was black, with a peach hood and roof, and a stripe of purple flames all along both sides. I am pretty sure those color choices were on purpose.
We went to dinner last night with Kathryn and Brett for her birthday. Happy Birthday, Kat! Ziziki’s (yummy Mediterranean food) and then to Whole Foods for a delectable selection of desserts from their enormous pastry case. Unfortunately I started feeling icky and couldn’t eat my teeny key lime and lemon meringue tarts. They were just as good the second day 🙂 The pastry guy gave us each a loaf of fresh French bread, on the house. It pays to shop at closing time.
It is almost 10 now and I am going to do a bit of yoga before bed. I would like to start going 2-3 times a week again at lunch time. Hopefully they are running classes throughout the summer; I need to check into it this week. I love paying $10 a month for my gym and getting all the yoga classes I want for that price!
So, in closing: Here is an article with some freaking awesome costumes for babies! Some are not so awesome (poop on head “costume,” for instance), but this lobster is just the cutest thing in the universe!