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Words of Wisdom
Unearthed last night, a list of things that my friends and I apparently thought were hilarious or poignant when we were 16 or so years old.
It’s worse than that, it’s physics, Jim.
Don’t rookydoo around.
The purple pane of glass and velvety cat balls
Communism is evil!
Good Heavens! (oh no, not the infamous Good Heavens clerics!)
Convert to Bert!
Death by stereo
The Cube that Killed the Kremlin, and Broccoli Abuse
I never heard that word before, Your Grace.
Everyone wants to know what gives, but I know where the tarantula lives.
Bert and Ernie (NOT Ernie and Bert)
Get Your Sofa Away From Me
SAY NO MORE!
Don’t crush that dwarf, hand me the pliers.
Ice cream has no bones.
Live in a swamp and be three-dimensional.
Be obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant.
My hovercraft is full of eels.
Art is the only way I can run away without leaving home.
It’s only forever, not long at all.
You can make an object go through space, but can you make space go through an object?
Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.
Rumor: Ronald never takes a leak.
It’s true! It’s true! The clown has made it crear!
Now the oboe may be there to greet them
That is not the way to play croquet.
As you wish.
I think I am, therefore I am… I think.
Paul is an ambidextrous walnut.
They are not the hell your whales.
Hi! We’re your stickmen slaves!
Negative signs make a difference.
You can still hear Beethoven, but he can no longer hear you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one don’t.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I’m schizophrenic, and so am I.
Go to hell. Go directly to hell. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.
Sam the Amoeba: Sam and his brother were quaffing, they split their sides laughing, now each of them is a mother.