Another woman’s experiences

I have been searching the Web for a while tonight, and I have found exactly ONE other blog post on the entirety of the Internets (a series of tubes) (I never get tired of saying that!) where a woman describes in frank and levelheaded detail what her miscarriage was like. One single solitary blog, that is all.

Thank you, tomato.sutra. I really wish I’d found your blog when I was frantically doing Web searches during the early stages of my miscarriage cramps. Our experiences weren’t identical, but I really think it would have helped calm me to read what yours was like.

From Paging Lucina:

There were a lot of posts and writings on the ‘Net from women who (quite understandably) were terrified about what was going on in their bodies, prior to getting confirmation of their own miscarriages. Also quite understandably, there weren’t many follow-up posts that told the greater audience what had happened afterward.

I also found plenty of rather high-level articles and posts from medical or sorta-medical sources. You know the type: they purport to be informative, and some succeed to a degree, but they don’t actually reveal much.

I’m not saying that everyone who experiences something private and painful like that needs to publicly write about it in detail, but I can’t get over how vague almost all the miscarriage information on the Web is. About the only information you can extract is that it’s common, occurring in between 20-50% of pregnancies; it’s rarely your fault; you may experience bleeding, menstrual-like cramps, or the passage of clots; and that sadness is normal.

But nobody talks about what actually HAPPENS! I’m sorry if I have sounded like I’m going over and over this point in the past few posts, but it’s as if the concrete details of miscarriage are classified information! It’s like Scientology: nobody can know the secrets until they belong to the club.

I guess I’m PISSED that I had such terrible physical pain and terrible fright, and that I had no way of knowing in advance that what I was experiencing was serious but normal, that it would require medical intervention but that I was not DYING. And I’m angry that, because we had no information, my poor sweet husband thought he might LOSE ME. I don’t ever want him to have to go through anything like that, ever again.

I guess maybe I’m going through the “Anger” phase of grief, hahaha.

2 Comments

  1. Murdock Scott

    Just in case any guys out there want to read about what to expect from the male POV.

    Doc’s account of events

    Never once did I expect what happened that night. It took me completely by surprise. I can only hope I mostly made you feel safe and didn’t reveal just how much I was frightened out of my mind.

  2. Stephanie

    I don’t know you. But thank you for being willing to talk about your experience. I’m currently experiencing the tail-end of my own MC from my very first baby. I found your blog through a search and I’m so happy someone else is willing to talk about this.

    I hope that things are going better for you these days, since it’s been a year since you wrote this. Bless you, and Doc.

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